Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
