All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
