come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
