First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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