awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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