It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize