I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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