the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
two words: eviction party
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize