I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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