DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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