I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
