nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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