and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
