There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I came so hard my ears popped.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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