I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
