You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
