I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
