thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
