mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
