Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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