I will die if light touches me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just want nice things and good sex
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
