it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
