you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
