well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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