nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
