Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
