Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
