what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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