Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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