we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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