Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
