Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
