Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
