my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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