I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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