Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
