it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize