I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
