thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
