dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
