Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
