I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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