if you like me you must not know who I am
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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