i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't put those talents on a resume
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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