Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize