i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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