Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
