I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
