I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
