i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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