I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
