am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
