I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
