So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
