Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
