It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize