I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
did you just send me my own nude
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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