Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
