that's an acceptable place to lick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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