Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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