Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
