I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
