R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
