Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize