marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
