i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
