sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
this hospital has no fireball
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
