I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
