Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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