Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
